Mom, dad vs baby?

so I have posted on here before about my man not doing a thing for the baby...Im over that, whatever. but whenever I mention anything about that, i feel like I get attacked about being a mom. Like this morning, my fiance was mad that he had to give the baby a pacifier at 2am. I didnt even know the baby was awake. I am always the one to get up at night. we ended up getting in a argument and he tells me, You wanted the baby, your the mom, its your responsability. obviously. I mentioned the argument to my mom and she snapped at me to just get over it too, that im the mom. I understand that a mom 90% of the time is the "one". I just wish men weren't like that. I dont know what i am asking but I am just frusterated.....Am I wrong??